Geisha (Coktel Vision) - 1990
This review is part of the “Let’s Adventure!” series. See all reviewed games sorted by rating here.
This game is terrible. Also the screenshots contain nudity … which doesn’t change the fact that this game sucks!
Geisha is an erotic adventure video game developed by Coktel Vision and MDO and published by Tomahawk in 1990 for Amiga, Atari ST, and DOS. The game uses a point-and-click interface, and includes several minigames including a card game and an action sequence.
You read that right … another “erotic adventure” from the makers of Emmanuelle, the previous pile of shit from Coktel Vision and Tomahawk.
It takes like 45 seconds to draw this guy’s stupid face one line at a time!
The story makes no sense, but from what I was able to interpret, something something something girl and robot body, something about an escape …. dragons? I really tried to be impartial and give this a chance, but I have no idea what I was supposed to be doing at any point other than play minigames - all of which were boring or stupid.
To advance you have to play strip-“guess the numbers in the right order”
Unlike the Leisure Suit Larry games which you could also potentially classify as “erotic”, Geisha just sort of forces the nudity down your throat. The mini games are unnecessarily hard (not challenging - just hard), and even though there’s only like 7 games you play to get to the end, I actually gave up after going through the maze and sliding piece puzzle like a dozen times.
Fuck this stupid puzzle
According to the longplay video on YouTube, this game only takes about 30 minutes to complete. I’ll be honest, even playing through this with a walkthrough it felt SO MUCH LONGER! My goal with this series is to FINISH every one of these games but this stupid sliding puzzle has to be completed in 45 seconds or you DIE. You can’t save before the puzzle, so to retry you have to finish the previous maze puzzle again.
Fly your dick ship around and shoot stuff
The maze is pretty straightforward, but it was frustrating enough initially to get me to look for a map. This also lead me to DrMcCoy’s blog post from the time he was working on the Gob engine which I was really hoping would give me debug codes I could use to skip the stupid slide puzzle. No such luck :/
Even though I played the Atari ST version of the game, visually the game isn’t the worst. That’s probably the only nice thing I’m going to say because the sound effects are jarring, there’s really no music, none of the games are fun, progressing isn’t intuitive and overall the experience just plain sucks.
DON’T PLAY THIS “GAME”.
Game Over … thank god!
Game Information
| Game | Geisha |
| Developer | Coktel Vision |
| Publisher | Tomahawk, Coktel Vision |
| Release Date | 1990 |
| Systems | DOS, Amiga, Atari ST |
| Game Engine | Gob |
My Playthrough
| How Long To Beat? | 30 minutes? |
| Version Played | Atari ST via ScummVM |
| Notes | Walkthrough |
Score
See here for a refresher on how we’re scoring these games.
| Atmosphere (20) | 3 |
| Story (25) | 2 |
| Experience (15) | 2 |
| Impact (10) | 1 |
| 11% |
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